11. Metapod

Fun fact: when I was a kid I thought Metapod could open up the pointy bits on either side of it, like hatches, and… shoot stuff out of them. I don’t know what. Rockets, maybe.

In my younger self’s defense, it’s never made terribly clear what exactly Metapod can do. What’s its means of locomotion? Real cocoons tend to be attached quite securely to things, not stalking about in tall grass or defending its keeper with tackling moves. Or… can they not move at all? In the wild and in the anime they apparently can’t. Do we suppose they can float about, as it seems other pokemon (Geodude) can?

It may be a minor point, but if you’re going to depict a Metapod, or imagine one in your ownership, this is important stuff. Some of these sprites look like they’re ready to fly into battle with an audible whoosh. Metapod’s curvature is aerodynamic, man—kind of reminds me of something… like…

the motherships in that game Homeworld.

…No?

They also can’t seem to decide which way Metapod’s tail faces. Perhaps this too is meant to vary? Perhapsss each is as unique as the last. And what with our inability to know what goes on inside a Metapod, I’m ready to declare it pretty much the most mysterious pokemon you guys

The Winner:
Diamond and Pearl

I think my preferred state for a Metapod is one in which it’s at least erect, appearing to have some form of self-reliance. The Ruby/Sapphire sprite that gets reused in FR/LG (hence only eight sprites) is sort of just sitting helplessly on its face. Or… is that its face? Maybe it’s as well defended there as any.

Anyway, D/P gets the tail in (what I believe to be) the correct position, according to official artwork (besides: coiled, dangerous looking tails are for Weedles). And it’s got a good thickness, you know, it’s not as long, but that’s not what counts.

(Don’t think I’m not patting myself on the back for making this entry merely awkward as hell and not explicitly filled with dick jokes)

By the way, another shiny sprite shoutout to the Metapods from Hell.