13. Weedle

Well the first time I seen a boll Weedle, he was sitting on the square. The next time I seen a boll Weedle, he had his whole family there!

Jack White sings about Weedles

I gave a lot of love to Caterpie and its evolutions, which some would say is the iconic Pokémon bug-type family—which is true, for some reason. But let’s face it: when that guy in Veridian City first tells you about the “two bug pokemon,” one with poison, and one… without poison, which did you inwardly swear to capture and train?

Now maybe that excitement wears off somewhat the first time you get in a Weedle vs. Weedle game of who can inflict the least damage, or when you realize that poison attacks are only super-effective against grass pokemon (and there is exactly ONE pure grass type in the game—Tangela—while most of the others are half-poison themselves; it’s basically a completely useless type). Still though, that first venture into Viridian Forest, when you don’t have the foresight to bring antidotes, and Weedles in every bush waiting to poison your shit up? That’s a sweet five minutes of fame, there. There’s a reason Weedle is pokemon number 13: it’s your unlucky day if you cross one. Bam!

But mostly I like Weedle because he bears a striking resemblance to a certain enemy in a certain other Nintendo game:
 

And if you’re looking at his limbless R/B sprite, a striking resemblance to the worms in a certain current television show that I have a certain unabashed affection for:

 

no weedles on the BED

The Winner:
HeartGold and SoulSilver

At first I was leaning towards the R/S and FR/LG ones because they so effectively brandish both Weedle’s stingers, reminding you this guy is dangerous at both ends. But Weedle’s intimidation factor is so inherent in its game dynamic, it tickles me most of these sprites go the route of looking totally innocuous. While your pokemon is vomiting the last of its black, poison-ravaged organs onto the battlefield, Weedle will be sitting there watching, head cocked to the side, cheeky and adorable. This one gives that impression the most, I think, certainly better than Gold and Silver’s with their oddly inflated heads and clown noses. Unless those are meant to be just, y’know, gorged with flesh-searing venom