21. Spearow

I get the impression Spearow isn’t a very popular pokemon, given that Pidgey and its two evolutions make it a bit redundant. It’s like the dysfunctional, forgotten nephew of all the Normal/Flying types. Sundelsticks to that, I say. Spearow is pure badass. Check out the gaze in the Yellow sprite. Check out Silver’s “haters gonna hate” walk. Check out actually having a Flying-type attack from the beginning, unlike certain other Flying pokemon, as well as being able to learn Fly just as one would expect.

I will admit, though, Spearow’s design is puzzling. It’s got brown plumage on the head and tail, black on the back, and hot pink on the wings. And its underbelly appears scaly and featherless. What kind of a bird is that? Some kind of gryphon? A diseased eaglet? It’s like it was stitched together by the same mad scientists that created the platypus. From pieces of a hawk, a turtle and a flamingo.

And it’s not like it’s one of those pokemon that just needed better graphics to look more plausible over time. If anything, it’s gotten weirder. The first few sprites look wonky, but at worst they’d be mistaken for a fat, evil version of Woodstock.





But then I’m looking at its most recent back sprite…





That lion’s mane anime hairdo it has? Only on its face. It’s like a mask, with the back of its head completely different. You try to render this thing in 3D and it only gets more perplexing.

But I guess in some ways it actually resembles a spear from behind, the way it’s got a black shaft pattern up its back, and comes to a point at its beak. And then the pink wings would be like… alright nevermind I’m not even going to try interpreting this thing’s appearance

The Winner:
Gold

Spearow always gives the impression that it packs more of a punch than Pidgey, and this sprite is no exception. It’s got seven pointy things all facing forward: six talons and a beak. It appears to be caught in the middle of jumping onto a person’s face to peck at their eyes. At least that’s what a Spearow I owned would be doing, eheheh

It also benefits from being one of the final sprites to omit Spearow’s flamboyant colouring. That may seem like a given, but with Gold and Silver’s two-tone palettes, they could have very easily made it brown and pink. Instead they went with brown and… brown. Nice! Pidgey’s Gold and Silver sprites actually have more pink in them than Spearow’s. This is because Pidgeys are for women and gay boys. *hock* *spittoon*